Am I piecing yet #2

[Have Faith]

Hi Joie

My H and I are living separately, but have lived together off and on during this time period. I have always GALed and that was probably part of the problem, as we did not spend enought time together, but my H was a workaholic.

I really tried to not be so available to him. It takes time and it doesn't happen over night. I didn't answer all of this phone calls. I never call him, except for business purposes and even then, if it could wait, I would wait until he called me or I saw him. Also, I did not accept all of his invitations. I told him I was busy and would find something to do, even if it meant that I went out to dinner and a movie by myself. When we did live together, I tried to show him what our life could be like if he returned. In essense, we because friends again.

I must say that my H thought/thinks I had begun dating. He really didn't like this, but could say nothing. I have used my imaginary bf to my advantage. I think my H finally started looking at me realizing that he would lose me and didn't want to. But this came 7 to 8 months after I found out about his A.

The DB counselor that I used was wonderful and gave me great advice. I would not hesitate to use them again. I think that they are well worth the money.

Good luck and read as much as you can. Some good books are "Not Just Friends," "After the Affair", "5 Love Languages" and of course "Divorce Remedy"

Faith