We finalized last year, just before Thanksgiving, and a month after the baby arrived. It took three months and $600. It was incredibly easy. In fact, I think we had the easiest divorce in the history of divorces. We went down to the courthouse, I filled out the papers in the law library, and he signed them.
Oh, and I was pregnant at the time, too.
We divvied up our things. He moved out a month before I had the baby. We never created a formal custody/visitation plan. To be honest, I don't recall much about it beyond checking the 'joint custody' box and then checking every other box on holidays.
The baby came. For being emotionally detached, he did a beautiful job during my (no exaggeration) near-death delivery. He sees the baby as often as he can--at the very least, every day. He is one of the most wonderful fathers I have ever seen, and we co-parent marvelously. No custody or child fighting issues here...I suspect we do better than some married couples.
Slowly, our lives have evolved into this comfortable routine:
We speak several times a day, oftentimes just to chat. We spend nearly every night together, either at his place or mine, taking turns based on his schedule since it's much more erratic. After having wandered into co-sleeping, the baby sleeps between us in the bed. (I had no idea how rewarding co-sleeping would be. I absolutely adore it.) Lately, we've been doing this odd budgeting-together thing. And, not surprisingly, off-and-on we ML.
Here's where it gets more complicated...
We both insist that we're not together. No ILY's, no hand-holding, no cuddling.
He has this FF whom could almost be his gf...except that she's married and not even in the country at the moment. (I know all about it. It's not like he's in a relationship with me, so no hiding, no real feeling betrayed on my part. Just kind of wary and maybe a little hurt.)
The thing is...I have no idea what I really want to do. I don't really want to move on. But, at the same time, I am terrified of getting closer to him again. (Which is what's been going on.)
