Thanks K. The long suffering parent rings a bell. One thing I asked my H was how long was he going to go on living like this ( a secret life), and he said that he got something out of thinking himself the martyr ( even though he was the one having the A). And that is very much his mother...the martyr. And it's weird, because as the betrayed spouse, I don't feel martyr-like, when maybe I should...it's just not my personality.
