Her going away for weekend with OM is not the end.
She's feeling massive amounts of guilt. As Frank would point out, she feels that she's made such a mess the only way through this is a divorce.
Yoyo's advice is sound. I suggest you give Frank a call. The vibe you are sending out is "please don't leave, give US a chance." She hasn't felt the "I'm moving on" vibe yet. That's where the whole balance of power lies.
Yes she's hurting and guilty. What does she need from you? The ability/space to process this. IT's your pulling away that's giving her the chance to think this through and getting her all emotional. You attacking her and telling her she's a "bad" girl, is pulling the guilt away, she's blaming it on you. You pleading with her is making her want to pull away more.
By the way, you don't need to watch the kids on her night so she can go away for the weekend. That's a legitimate boundary.
My wife still, to some extent, feels like I'll always be there. We are due for a talk on finances, budget and timetable. In that conversation, she'll feel me pushing her out.
I think ignoring her calls right now is the thing to do. It it's important she will leave a voice mail. She has to realize it's not all about her.
Just remember when you do talk to her don't act angry, just act like she is a co-worker or neighbor. You wouldn't get personal with them so don't get personal with her. Act like you are okay. Keep your voice light.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
