Get me on a smoother ride....need advice - part 3

[SueS]

Trying........

You know, it hurts when someone hits the nail on the head and to hear the truth. No offense to you whatsoever, but you did hit it on the head. My H does do whatever he wants and I'm the one that makes sure everything gets done. Not that H doesn't help out or do his share, but he sure does his own thing. It's strange though........I was thinking about this the other day. The past month, we've worked more as a team than we have in a long time. Talking more about schedules, D3....etc. Yesterday I said....okay D3, let's go get groceries.....I want to get back to finish the laundry. H said....since you're getting groceries, just sort things for me and I'll keep the laundry going. I cleaned all the salad fixins' and washed the dishes last night (not usually my "task"). H in turn, got our lunches ready. Just strange that we have unintentionally started this "working together" deal now when this A is going on. I don't know, maybe that's a good thing. Maybe us working together and communicating will help push the A out of our lives.

I've been trying to figure out how to do a 180 that wouldn't involve hurting my D3 at all. She hates it when I leave. Yesterday at one point I grabbed my shoes and my purse. H asked where I was going. I just told him that I needed to go grab a few things that I'd forgotten at the store. The questions came flying.....where are you going, does D3 know you're going without her.....etc. He always questions when I do something, but he doesn't like me asking the questions to him.

About telling him to tell her not to call, that's a tough one. I wasn't right there in the room with him when she called the other day. I could see him, but he couldn't see me. I could see the nervous look on his face & his glance around the room to see if I was nearby. I'm not sure where to start with that. If I should wait a little while & ask if they're still communicating (which I know they are) or if I should stay back, GAL, 180 and hope that it fades. I told him that I don't want to sit back and hope things get better, but at the same time I also don't want to push him closer to her. Tough one!


Thanks- SueS