WAW1978-Part 4

[Nomopo]

Hi there. Have been following your sitch loosely from my BB, and wanted to respond to your last post. I'm sorry things are so tough on you right now, and I hope you can keep in mind that (1) in the end you are responsible for yourself, and you control your own happiness, and you can have a great life with or without your H and (2) things will get better in the future, some time and somehow.

Now, . . .

as the WAS who really wanted to leave to force him to recognize that he was treating me poorly and work on things

This surprised me a bit. Not sure if I can articulate why, but here it goes. I sort of accepted WASs withdrawing, shutting down, thinking of walking away, etc. because they needed time and space to sort things out, to think things through, to work out their hurt, disappointment, etc. It caught me off guard a little to read the words you wrote, because it sounded a lot more manipulative, in a bad way. Like punishment, like control in its own right. Maybe you didn't mean that, or put that much thought into those particular words, but thought I'd get that out there.

So ...how much longer am I expected to keep this up?

Expected by whom? All that should matter is what is really important to you. What are your goals? Are you still wanting to save your M? Or are you ready to let go and move on and to see what life brings you (or what you can get out of life)?

I am still going to IC as I feel its important to address whatever characted flaws I have

Good for you. Cause you're doing it for you.

and I think I would like to continue to see the MC alone.

Curious why. I guess it ties back to however you answer the questions about what you want and what your goals are.

PS: I took my wedding band off after seeing he isn't wearing his

Take it off if you want to, not only because he took his off.

Hang in there WAW1978. I know this is tough. If it makes you feel any better, I respect you and I am sorry you are having to deal with this. But keep fightin the good fight, ok?

Nomo