it does not stop.... so many overwhelming things keep happening - I really don't know how to cope. This is the BIGGEST Challenge I had to go through in my life so far.....
This morning when we met up for business meeting H told me his sister is PREGNANT. I could't take it and completely broke down. We stopped contraception about 6 weeks before we split up as we both thought this would be the right time to let fortune decide when we would have a baby together....
He was kind of understanding but still cant explain what then took him to the point to really split up - as he said today that falling in love with another woman was only a symptom of the bad state of our R at the time. And that he does NOT want a R with her (but what is he having with her THEN????)
I know that he still cares for me a lot but NOT ENOUGH to keep our R going. Or even more but he knows that with our own problems and things to sort out personally we would not be happy as a couple these days. I JUST DONT KNOW.....
He really wants to get us out of that financial misery though... and he would work twice as much to do so.
DO I have to wait it out? DO I just have to give the best I can give? Do I really simply have to realize my goals and work on myself to get things going again? Is there a chance of getting back together again after we went through this financial hell together?????
So many thoughts, so many questions.... I am REALLY desperate today!!!!!
