Plank removed from eye, too late for WAW? 5

[Heimlich]

Made a booboo this weekend. Went to the house to grab a few items. While there, straightened bed and turned on the outdoor light (getting late). Didn't have my cell, so didn't call W. She called me later and was angry, not at what I had done -- she expressed that she appreciated the thoughts behind what I did -- but at not telling her I was going over. Would have had no problem if I had just called and told her I was grabbing a few things. Apologized/validated because she was absolutely right and she accepted. Wiggled the tooth, so to speak, regarding her speaking to OM. She got quiet, I got scared, apologize wished her a good night and hung up. Enough of that. Please no 2 x 4s on that. Turned a positive interaction into a negative. I've a genius for that.

W dropped the girls off last night. I made lasagna. W made an inside joke about garlic and my lasagna then laughed because she knew I wanted to flip her off, but couldn't because of the girls. Good, positive exchange. No awkwardness or nervousness. First time she's made a joke about me in a while, so that was pretty cool

Anyway, just focusing on me from now on. She'll talk to him or she won't. She'll talk to me or she won't. Pretty much sucks, but there it is. If I don't give her space; I've no chance. Thing is, I think that, deep down, she sees changes but doesn't trust them and is still scared that I'll just hold OM over her head were we to reconcile. Rereading DR and have no plans on contacting W regarding anything this week (unless something happesn with the girls). Loving someone and not being able to show them how much you care about them has got to be just about the worst thing I've ever experienced.

BD