new here and really worried

[GoodGuy]

Hi Lost,

I just read your story, sorry to hear things are confused at the moment. But I can tell you that Sandi, Nugget and Gone Dancin' are all very wise DBers, I have learned a great deal from them. I am learning to be a wise DBer. Although we all need advice ourselves, the one who "Have been there, done that" have some insight and ideas to help others out. At least tell you what you shouldn't do.

Here is my advice for what it is worth. End the EA with the OM today. As I am the LBS and a man, short of a PA, I can tell you nothing bruises the male ego more that their wife confiding in another man, telling him her deepest thoughts.

I don't think your H has moved on with the OW, however, as the others have said, he feels better after losing a lot of weight, his ego is being massaged by the OW, he feels desirable (something I want to feel again since my wife left me 3 months ago). I still love my wife deeply even though she left me and hasn't even hinted we may be able to work things out. If I was in your H shoes, had another woman there for me, had my wife pursuing me, I may play the hard a$$ too? He probably thinks he is in the drivers seat at the moment.

I would stop pursuing him, don't snoop, it will only hurt your feelings in the end. Tell him you are open to repair the damage that was caused to your R, and leave him be for a while, see if he comes around. His R is new with the OW, the newness will wear off, and he will think about the good times the two of you had, it's the great thing about the human memory, we tend to block out the negative stuff, and think of the good times.

It is so refreshing to hear stories from the WAW, or maybe just from women in general, since you are all so complicated, lol.
Good luck Lost, don't give up, take out your frustrations here, not to your husband.