Saturday morning & H is at work. I woke up at 1:30 and don't think he was home. I decided to go back to sleep. Woke up not much later & he was home. I noticed he's been on the computer at nearly 3:00 am, just looking at emails. Now, that's something I haven't tried to get into. Don't think I would want to either.
Last night H came home before going out. He was okay, but just left without saying goodbye. I was in D3's bedroom trying to get her to sleep. I got really, really mad at him for just leaving. Made the mistake of calling him and saying.....what, you just leave without saying goodbye? He said....I didn't want to interrupt you trying to get her to sleep. Made the next mistake of calling back a few minutes later. I said...sorry I got pissy with you, I just thought you would have said goodbye. His response was....I don't care. I said...okay, have fun. Nice way to end an evening.
Time to get off and clean the house. I just feel better when my house is in order. At least one part of my life can be straight!
Have a good Saturday.
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
You are only human. It's hard not to ask where your spouse is going. It's hard not to get mad when common decency isn't shown.
Just curious what about if you just up and leave? Do you think he would get mad. It just sounds like he is out all the time and your home all the time. That could be a great 180. Turn the tables a little.
Has he said anything to you further about your conversation?
trying....I don't usually just get up and leave. I did it one morning to get out and walk and it did put H into a scramble mode. As far as doing it at night. Yeah, he'd probably flip a lid. It's hard though with our schedules. He works 3 nights a week until 9:00 pm & 2 until 7:00 pm. H has not said anything more about the confrontation. I've been wondering if I should mention anything. I just know he's continuing to talk to OW. His phone rang yesterday while we were all home together. I wanted to say....tell that B!tch to quit calling. Then a message was left too. I know it was her. He was very, very nervous when he saw who was calling.
One thing about yesterday though.....H called from work and asked if D3 and I wanted to meet him for lunch when he finished. We did. It was nice until D3 fell & scraped her leg. It was weird afterward though. H kept talking at lunch about how he wanted to go home and get some sleep. We left at the same time & we got home at least 15-20 minutes before he did. Then he didn't park his car in the garage (of our building). D3 got really crabby & I finally was able to get her to sleep. I got my Women's Health magazines, sat out on the deck & read. About an hr. later, I came inside & sat watching football with H. H asked what D3 was doing. When I told him she was napping, he got up from the couch, grabbed my hand and took me into our room. It was nice. I had this vision that he was going to tell me that he would tell me he was sorry...blah, blah, blah.... Just a vision in my mind.
Well, D3 is bugging me to get off the computer.
I'll catch up later.
Oh, H now plans on going to CA with his brother, so I guess no trip to Chicago for the two of us....bummer.
Have a good Sunday.
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
Hi Sue. Lunch sounded really nice, as did the rest of the afternoon. Maybe his taking you to your room (hubba hubba LOL) was his way of showing you he cares? I have heard that Five Languages of Love book is very helpful. I think you are still in the position to use the information.
About the apology and things like that, DB says not to expect that, because many many people don't get that official "I am sorry, I want the marriage to work". Hard stuff.
I plan to buy Five Languages of Love and get it read soon.
The rest of the weekend was fine. Sat. night, H woke me up and wanted to be intimate again. Like I said....I enjoy that so I don't tell H no unless I absolutely have to.
Sun. was good too. D3 woke me up early, so I was up with her. When H woke up. D3 said, Mommy, daddy wants to see you in your room. As I was walking in, I heard D3 ask H why he was still in bed. He said he was sleepy. H said.....You know D3, I bet mommy would have liked to have slept in too. No go! D3 didn't want anything to do with me going back to sleep. H got up and went to workout. After H got home, I got my shoes on and took a walk. Not a very long one, but just some time for me. When I got back, D3 and I went grocery shopping. H watched football & baseball all day, but was in a great mood. He teased me that just reading a Women's Health mag wouldn't get me in better shape. I said....Well, thanks for giving me that additional motivation! We both just laughed. I did a few things yesterday that I don't usually do, so H thanked me. H was up late last night. Not sure if he talked to OW. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. I felt it was a good weekend and I just decided not to think about it for a few hours!!
This morning I woke up to find H all snuggled up to me. What a nice feeling. I got up and went into the kitched to get our lunches ready. H had them all done!! Weird as it may sound, but it was a turn on for me! He'd done something nice. I got ready for work, told H that I'd call him (I'm his alarm on Monday) and thanked him for lunch. He lifted his head for a kiss, which I gave him. I said....love you (didn't wait for a reply) and walked out the door.
Good start so far. Hopefully the day will go just as good. Not sure if I mentioned this, but H told me the other night that he is going to request another earlier day at work. That would be nice. It would give us even more time to spend together.
Have a great day everyone! Time to work!
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
I plan to buy Five Languages of Love and get it read soon. ... I got up and went into the kitched to get our lunches ready. H had them all done!! Weird as it may sound, but it was a turn on for me! He'd done something nice.
Sue, I guess we all now know what one of your love languages is.
Sue that is a good thing maybe if you going out would cause him to flip. Try and do something to get his attention for a change. It sounds like you are always there doing what needs to be done. He is always out doing what he wants.
Sounds like the weekend was pretty darn good. Also if you feel you need to set boundaries then tell him to have her stop calling. That it is very disrespectful to you.
