Protecting my kids, but being honest

[bambam1970]

Haven't posted in awhile. Taking a needed break. So, here it goes..............

Divorce will be final October 9th - I begin a basic construction class that same night.

IMP - I'm gonna actually take classes on how to do the things I've been doing

H is dating weirdo mom and it has come back to bite him even tho he won't look at it in reality

Her son is D8's class. He stood up in front of the class and told them that H and his mom are boyfriend and girlfriend and held up H's fireman's badge that he gave to the boy.

D8 had no idea. She was humiliated. She was soooooo sad. Teacher talked to me about it at the zoo field trip. Teacher told me I was doing amazingly well and that D8 is really a carefree and happy girl.

D8 than told me that this boy told her that H has spent the night at his house. I talked to H (calmly) about the school incident and he talked to D8....well, he lied to her.

H told D8 that he didn't spend the night. He was there talking to the mom and left for work at 6 PM and the boy had fallen asleep. When he got off at 6 AM, he went back to finish their convo. and the boy woke up. Just a misunderstanding, he said.

One of my boys said "Mom, that's just stupid. Why does he lie?"

So all kids went to his house Saturday night. He had "bimbo" over w/her older son. They played and ate and cooked smores

Kids were worried to tell me b/c they didn't want to hurt my feelings. I had a very honest conversation w/the boys. I told them that what H was doing was wrong and they said "Yes, it is". They said that he is not being a good example or dad right now. I agreed. I told them that it only hurts my feelings b/c I don't want them to see those choices and think they are ok. We talked for a few hours and it went well. I never said anything bad about H, but I did validate their angry feelings towards him. Told them that I was angry w/him too.

I also found out he is telling people or letting them believe that I am getting his whole paycheck from one of his jobs. So not true. He pays the mortgage and vehicle loans. I pay everything else and get nothing from him right now. I spent $150 on the boy's trumpets, $500 on school registration, $100 on clothes and on and on. He always has a medical bill that cancels out what he owes me for those things.

Once divorce is final, support will automatically come out of his checks. That is three weeks away. BUT,in our state, we have to take a class (court ordered) on how to handle children through divorce. If you don't take it, the divorce will not be finalized. I took mine in August and made sure he knew about it and gave him the paper to call and sign up. Last week I asked if he had...no. Yesterday I asked again....no. The last class available before finalization is this Wednesday and he still hasn't even called about it. I cannot do anything legally.

He is just pathetic. He is lost and broken. But, he is an ass too. I cannot turn my head on that one anylonger. I didn't want to believe he could do this to me. When he started including the kids, I faced more reality.

I am doing well. My D8 is going to a counselor this week. It's a long road, but I'm taking it one step at a time.

Thanks for your support.