I guess that is were open and honest communication comes into play. But, it almost seems like open honest talk about how we feel goes against the principal of no R talk.
Isn't it a pickle?! It can make a person nuts.
I've been going through this exact thing recently and thought I was the only one. The DB principles are great and they got me going down the right path but I have found that I can't blindly apply them to my sitch. I deviated a little last night and talked R, very lightly, with W and it went over well. She mentioned that she felt like I had been distant the past week or so and that it was good to talk about something more important than what I did that day. I think when you spend enough time really trying to internalize this DB mindset, you apply the principles even when it doesn't seem like you are. We know our S's better than anyone else on this board so we know when it's time to go a little emotionally deeper with them. This seemed to go against DB to me at first and I had a hard time with it but then I thought the way I'm doing it isn't the way I used to do it. There's a lot less need in me when I speak to W, there's a lot more calm and so even though the thing under discussion is the same, the method is different. That to me seems like the heart of DB and SBT, finding a new way to approach an issue that works.
