There and Back, #6

[mkultra]

Oh Neph, I have also heard stories of reconciliation after affair amongst older folks. Sometimes I wonder if it is even possible nowadays with all of our pride and self esteem issues, know what I mean? We expect so many myths in marriage. Still, there is a bigger picture.

Morgan, I am also a Nordstrom's fan especially their bra dept. TMI *warning* I need to be fitted again for a bra because I stopped nursing and have lost a lot of weight so none of my bras fit. I feel like my best assets shrink when I lose weight.

Morgan, I think I have so much hope for you because I never have anything physical with my H. He does not even seem attracted to me, scratch that, I think I got a slight glimmer last time he saw me which is very infrequent. But I know deep down I am his ideal woman in every way looks wise and I guess that is true of you and yours also. I have to keep reminding myself it is not about looks. Look what happened to Reece, Aniston, Diana and Halle, all LBSs and they are the most beautiful women in the world.

Re OW: I began to think about the addiction aspect of affairs. It is unsavory and obsessive and underground in some ways. This is also how it is to use illegal drugs. You must surround yourself with other drug abusers and keep it on the down low. It becomes like a culture. I see my H and his OW's R much like this drug lifestyle. It is seedy an dincomprehensible for people outside of that culture. The abusers know it is wrong in every rational way but they resent being told that and the people who enforce the rules. I feel it is the same with the affair addiction. They absolutely know it is dirty and wrong but they do not choose to stop so they rather be with those who accept it. Your H can never fully trust OW or have a healthy real R based on such a shady beginning.

I am definitely watching Harry and Sally again. It may be cathartic. Right now I can only deal with Gilmore Girls. I am so drooling over Luke. My D6 said, "I wish you could marry a nice man like Luke."