Yes! I have had the same problem. One step forward and two steps back. I find something out, or I get PO'd and it's really hard for me not to call that mobile and blow all my efforts to hell. I'm still working on that.
That's a tricky one about other man coming to the house. If your W is like my H, she will do whatever you ask her not to just to prove you can't tell her what to do. If this is the case, I would say don't say anything. You have already told her. She remembers. She knows the rules. Whether you tell her again or not, she will make her choices.
How will you know if she does bring OM in?
Me29 H33 D9 months S2 S9(previous R) Sep 8-19-07 I file 11-5-07 H home (Retro) 2-15-08 "Today is the tomorrow of yesterday." -- S9