I did take H up on a date for the next Friday after my B-Day. He told me he would call with the time & place the next day. When he didn't call & just showed up, my mood took a little dive. We had a nice time, just not as nice as the B-Day dinner.
When we arrived home, he came up to say goodnight, as I told him I was tired & going to bed. Ended up having s*x for the first time in 5 months. I didn't care at the time if I ever saw him again, I was going to take advantage of the opportunity. It was really nice.
The next day he started the distancing. Completely predictable & I wasn't surprised. I did ask him if he enjoyed the evening & got this reply; "I was curious if I would feel drawn & I didn't. I'm no closer to packing my bags & coming back than I ever was."
O.K.
Called him an hour later to say that if that was the case, let's just move on.
He said I pushed him into that response & really, he needs more time.
This week he has asked me to go out to dinner with him & S4 everytime he's been here. I've declined each time, although all the interactions have been nice & friendly.
Today I saw what the OW looked like.....
Why I didn't think she would be so pretty, I don't know. It did fill in a lot of blanks for me as to what the draw was for him & apparently still is.
For some reason, after the initial surprise, I feel better knowing more. Instead of feeling less confident, I feel somehow more. Strange.
Maybe it's b/c I believe that yes, although looks count, they don't mean that you're going to plan a life around them (thanks Nomo ).
I don't intend on being available for many/most/any get-to-gethers with H & S4 anytime soon. I will keep the friendly, upbeat, confident me intact for glimpses as I'm going about my life though.
).
