You have made it very clear to him what it is that you need. What he needs to work towards in order for you to be happy and grow with him. What has he done for you SD? How long do you wait for him to give a little bit?
The thing is you can only ask for so long before you get sick and tired of being sick and tired. When do you decide that you have done your part and it is not being reciprocated in the appropriate manner?
So I have one question for you SD, what do you want to do now? How much more do you want to take? When does SD get to be loved the way that she deserves to be loved?
Ian
Ah, Ian, I'm not mad at all darling, not mad at all. One of the best things that has come out of DBing for me was the ability to listen to everybody with the aim to try to understand rather than to react and/or get pissy when I don't agree.
I'm glad you're asking these questions; they're the same questions I am asking myself. I am *tired*. Bone tired. And I just don't know how much fight I have in me. Probably this is the last round I'm willing to go...because the truth is, I'm lonely. At a soul level. Yeah, I have companionship, but I want more than that.
I had a talk with H tonight and told him just about what I wrote here tonight. That I'm tired, that I feel like it's not important to him to do what I ask, that he uses excuses. I told him he was free to go if he didn't want to work on giving me what I need or couldn't for whatever reason. I told him I knew I would be okay no matter what, but that I couldn't live in a passionless marriage.
He seemed a little freaked out. Speechless, really. Started with the work stress excuse, but I told him that if I was important, he'd make it important like he does with his other projects and such. He's getting what he wants from me, so it's time for him to step up and do it.
Don't know what the long term will be, but he at least stepped it up for tonight. Bleh. I'm just too tired at this point.
Thanks for chiming in, Ian. Your perspective is always valued.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
