Nice to hear from you, despite the circumstances. I'm sorry to see that this is where you're at -- it seems that W still hasn't done any work on herself. Until she does, I don't think you would want to have her back anyway, would you? No matter what you do to change, she still needs to deal with her issues, and a new R with her old issues will not work out in the long run. I know that you know that, but I'm just reinforcing this truth. Like Nugget said -- you need to stop reacting and DETACH from her in all emotional ways possible so she can begin to miss you. My DB coach said that once the LBS truly detachs -- TRULY DETACHES -- that is when the WAS actually begins to miss them and want them back. She needs to really miss you -- you AND your attention. Your reactions to her shows her attention (neg or pos), and she needs to feel you being indifferent before she will begin to reflect on herself (if she has any desire to have you back). This is just my opinion coupled with my DB coaches' advice, but I think it makes sense. Of course, continue being pleasant, but do not show any weakness toward her in any way. Every negative thing that comes from her gets indifference from you as a response. Water off a duck's back, right?
Now, regarding the custody question -- it's been a while since I've discussed this with my atty, but I believe it simply gives you 50/50 rights in ALL aspects of your child's life. I would either call an atty and see about a free consultation regarding this question, or go to a Divorce website for your state and read up on the law there. Sorry I couldn't be of more help to you with this question. Something I was just now thinking might be that joint "legal" might have to do with doctor/dental issues, school issues, tax issues, etc, and joint "physical" might have to do with who has them more (they get more right to them) and where their primary address is. Also, if one parent has primary "physical," they might be able to move them where ever they want (or with more ease). Not sure on all of this, but it kind of makes sense to me. Again, just try to read up on it or get a D atty's advice.
Hope this gets better for you One Wish -- it was nice to hear back from you since it's been a while. These people from the DB grave keep popping up recently... .
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