What is reasonable and what is not?

[cpolk]

SO2,
Really great news from your side. Glad you had a good time.

You know your pondered question is a personal one, that's both yours and mine. Our collective spouses and the 'others' aren't thinking about what they have to lose. Though at the same time they aren't being selfish either. I've done a lot of painful soul searching on this one.

They are doing/have done what they've done because in part WE didn't do what we needed to back at the house. For whatever reason it was. We all played a part. They do their thing because its fantasy; it feels good and its easy; its also the 'in love feeling' an addiction. When they come back to us (PA) or hang up/log off (EA) its work and it also hurts (the R), its called real life. Then thrown in on top is family finances, the kids, work, and the day to day life that we live in.

To give you a glimps into what at one time I was working with concerning the EA my W was holding on to following my return from deployment (the PA was over), she was convinced and I quote "people can f*ck and still be friends". It bugs me to type that but you know what; that says it all.

She would deny to everyone including her own Mother that there was nothing left other than 'friendship'. The blanket was warm and she wore it well.

Those days I think are over now. The project we have before us is as surmountable as the Hoover Dam was to Roosevelt and his New Deal. Get a picture of what you want in your mind and make it happen.