Is it time to cut him off?

[Trixi]

Yesterday he told me that he was going to go to Florida for Thanksgiving. That makes me SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sad.

When I said "Wow. that makes me sad that you're not going to be here" he said "I'm not sad at all. I'm glad to be doing something different!!" When I was visibly hurt by that, he continued with "I am tired of always being with your family; your mom always makes everything such a big deal. And I'm not so fond of so&so." I explained that my intent behind the statement was "I am sad *we* won't be together and so I took it VERY personally" and he said "well, I didn't mean that I don't want to be with *you*. I just don't want to be here. No,I'm not ready to take you along."

At the end of dinner he said something like "Well, you're not very attached to me anyway."
I was gobsmacked. I couldn't believe it.
He adds "I know you love me and all that. But you seem able to move on just fine."
My eyes must have been big as saucers as I say "WTF are you talking about?!"
Him "I don't know why you're offended. I'm just saying you aren't that attached to me. You're not that attached to your D either."
More looks of confusion from me and I say "um...I don't understand. You may as well be saying "Gee, you know that horn that grows out of your forheard?" because this is not making sense."
Him "well, you don't seem that upset or anything."

Not sure if I screwed up the whold DB thing or not- but here is what I said-
"Regarding D, you know that she keeps people at arms length. She has been making stupid decisions for awhile and I am not able to be close like I would like. I love her a great deal, but she seems to want to do it "her way". Regarding YOU. Why do you think I never asked where you live?"
Him "Well, you already know because of the bill that came."
Me" No. When I saw it had an address I stuffed it back in the envelope before I could register it. Why do you think that is? It's because I am VERY attached. I don't want to drive by, pound on your door in a weak moment. I don't let you know just how much this affecting me because I thought you didn't need the burden of my emotions." (he interjects that it is true that he probably doesn't need my emotions.) I continue "I hate this. I do my best to insulate you from my feelings; funny because I thought I was doing a piss-poor job. I guess I am better than I thought."
He did say again that it is probably good not to dump my feelings on him since he is confused. He also criticized some mistakes I made while the kids were growing up. H "You never wanted to go do things as a family!" Me "You never went to the 4-H things" H "That's because I hated 4-H-that was you and your mother's thing. YOU never wanted to go do stuff like we did when we first started dating [as a family]. All I have ever wanted is a close knit family and it always gets ripped away from me and torn apart" I retort "Oh! so, now you're going to rip it apart even worse?!" Him "I have no choice!" Me "Oh hell no! You most certainly do have a choice. I am not going to accept that statement. You ARE making a choice. You are taking the pieces of the family that remain and tearing them into itty bitty confetti pieces. This affects more than just the kids and us. It impacts my parents, my grandparents, and our friends."
Him "okay. You're right."

We did get some good fighting done. More babble from him: "We're too similar" "We're too different" "You're too introverted" "I'm too introverted" "I need to work thru the lonliness" "I need to decide if I can't live without you." "I am bringing up these things because they brought us to where we are today." "I am not holding those things against you." "I am mad and resentful about those things."

He left early afternoon today. There were other things said that made me feel like throwing in the towel. But then other things that gave me some hope. I am angry that he is basically leaving me no choice but to go to Plan B. I am catching myself saying "omg I hate you." Not to him. Never. But when I am alone and I am reminded of something he has done that hurts.

Before he left he said he would try to get next Thurs and Fri off (after Wed night concert) and suggested that we could go and "do something." Also discussed what work he wants to do around the house. Tentative plan: we will work on garage and doing some winter prep Thurs/fri. Leave saturday afternoon and stay over someplace til Sunday night.
Oh-I told him about the intuitive; invited him to an appt on Thursday and he just might go. We'll see. I didn't tell him that the intuitive told me to cut him off sexually.