SD...Ugh. I'm sorry hun. I think you have a good attitude about it...however I'll add this. What do YOU choose to do?
Obviously I would say take your time, think it through, etc. But I'm doubtful that ignoring this is the right decision.
Ah, now that's the million dollar question, Scott. The answer right now is I don't know.
I do know that this situation is on top of some other things that I *am* directly addressing. I've asked several times for what I need to feel emotionally connected and loved...in and out of marriage counseling, and it's even posted on our refrigerator door. I'm not getting the physical touch or verbal affirmations I need...and so when H pounces on me, my body shuts down completely. If he hugs or kisses me, I automatically tense up because I know he's initiating sex...and what he continues to make excuses for not giving me what I requested.
I'm not trying to be crude, but right now the thought of having sex with him makes me feel like a whore. Sick to my stomach. I'm supposed to be eager to be physical with someone who won't even do a little work to help me feel loved? I don't want to be a f*ck, I want to be adored and desired in and out of the bedroom.
H didn't even get me a birthday present this year...postponed it due to funds, but now we're a month away and still nothing. Do you know that one of the reasons he dropped the bomb on me was because I did the same thing? Was deathly ill during his birthday, then dropped the ball afterwards.
So, yeah, I don't know what the answer is, but I do know that I'm generally happier alone than with him. I don't dislike him...but I feel my love and passion draining out of my body. I don't think I'll fight for this M if it comes to that. I just really don't care.
In the meantime, I really, really love my life. I could walk away and be okay.....
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
