You will get some great input from the members here.
What you and your H are going through is nothing that several members here them selves have not been through also. You have been taken care of all you life and have always felt dependent on others. In a way you never felt like you have grown up and been able to experience life for yourself. You have always felt taken care of and protected, not been able to experience life on your own. Now you have been doing this for a bit and have discovered that maybe it is not all it is cracked up to be and that you want to be back with your H, but not smothered, not trapped, not as his child, but as his spouse, as an equal.
He on the other had feels betrayed and does not fully understand why you left him. He thought he was doing everything right by protecting you, taking care of your every need, being the provider. So, when you left he was hurt. And since then he has been on his own road of discover and he is trying to still figure out where he wants to be in terms of the R. You need to focus on yourself and take care of you first and foremost. Remember how you felt about his actions and his comments when you left him? Do not repeat the same mistakes to him that he committed to you. Remember how they made you feel and how the pushed you away?
“Do you want to be RIGHT or want to be LOVED” “You have to have a life to share a life with someone” “When you stop resisting, you start learning”
