Hi Hilary, so sorry about your situation but welcome. You will find support and comfort here.
I am so sorry about your H. Have you read DB or DR? If not, go buy them (or check them out) and read! You can't do anything right now, but what you can do is to: stop begging, pleading, pursuing, no crying, no relationship talk. Always be calm, even if you don't feel it inside! He is feeling cornered and smothered and those things (your reaction to things) will push him farther away.
If he does move out to an apartment, when things calm down a bit, suggest that you would like to help make a comfortable room for your kids there if he is planning on keeping them overnight. Tell him that you support him if he has to go, but that you of course want this marriage to work.
I am sure more seasoned posters can help more, but just wanted to say hi.
