Ok so today I went to church and the first thing i see is a father walking his handicapped child to class. I realized my trials were nothing in comparison.
I then went into church and I heard a mother tell a story of her 5 year old dying last week and I realized my pain does not compare.
I then made the decision that I was going to be a single mom and I was going to be good at it. I decided that the crying was over. I felt peace for the first time in my life. I am almost scared by the calmness I feel. I feel like I can let God take this situation over and I really am 100% sure he will see me through it.
I wrote a 7 page letter in church to my husband and then called him and read it. It was so unbelievable to just tell him. You are free. I am done. i will not call... I will not email I do not want to feel the pain anymore. I am OK. He didn't say a word or get angry just listened to me. At the end we hung up and I honestly can say I am going to be ok. The best part is I am not just saying it. I am feeling it. I feel safe and secure knowing I can do this with or without him.
My goals for today
1)take kids to church 2) take kids to park 3) Get laundry caught up 4) Read my bible 30 minutes 5) Take 30 minutes out for me and just enjoy my quiet time when the kids are in bed. 6) make the kids sleep in their own bed to gain some normalcy back. 7) Make NO phone calls to husband for any reason at all.
I will let you know tonight how I do.
M 32 H 39 SS 15, SD 12, S11, S9, D7, D6, D4 E/A 02/06 WAS 03/06 RH 05/06 On 07/07 told me he wants to leave again. On 08/11/07 Walked out again.
People say "When God closes a door he opens a window." They forget to tell you "It is hell in the hallway!"
