mk, something I said helped you? WOW I feel so good right now, usually you pop in with this wonderful advice, so that makes me happy that I can help you refocus.
Dating. BLECKY lol It doesn't have to be dinner. It could be lunch. Don't even think of it as dating. You have proven you aren't ready for anything since you didn't enjoy the flirting last night (although I think it had a lot to do with the fact you were at the 'scene of the crime' and were already having a bad night). Nothing wrong with focusing 100% on your kids for as long as you want. They deserve it, and motherhood is something we can always embrace.
And yes, I still think H is the only one in the world for me. Thoughts of dating make me sick to my stomach. But the fact that H could do as much as he has done really throws me too. I agree on the step parent thing and a possible second marriage. Not good stats.