I think many guys can have the traits described above and not be gay. The tipoff that a guy is gay is not how he talks, walks, whether he likes show tunes or wearing pink, whether he has close friends who are men, whether he'd rather watch a John Wayne movie or a Liza Minelli movie.
The tipoff is that he does not want to have sex with women. Or with A woman that he is in a serious R with.
Believe me, I've asked myself a thousand times about my bf. With the skewed R he has with his mom, his drop-dead good looks, the fact that I know he had a homosexual experience at least once as a teen, AND a gay uncle who came on to him... yeah, I've wondered. He's also very much a homophobe, and has only recently relaxed enough to laugh out loud at Will and Grace. Yes, I've wondered. But he has the history of drugs and alcohol, and the heart disease manifesting in ED-- and I'm assuming (or pretending) that those are the causes of his reticence. Also, there's been some progress in that department. He is showing signs of arousal, and even a teeny bit of initiating. He's also in therapy. Long winded comment... sorry.
Karen, I'm truly puzzled as to why your H wants more children? If it turns out the gay thing is true, then establishing himself as a father with a legacy to leave may be very important to his sense of personal legitimacy. Also, if he only has gay feelings but does not act on them with men (or with his friend) then he may feel he's successfully "handling" them.
"After all, I fathered two children-- how can I be gay?"
I feel like I've gone WAY too far here... let me apologize in advance for coming on so strong... I AM very sorry you're hurting-- that's the main thing...
