Phoenix Rising? Maybe.

[cpolk]

To all,
Just an update. Last evening it came to the point that I had to know what was up. The apprehension was visible to my W and she kept asking why I was being weird.

When we got home we sat and I told her that I loved her, I wanted her, but I wanted sex between us to mean something. I furthered with I'm not the only one working here (meaning her) and that if she wanted to we still could but from my perspective, she hasn't initiated touch much, not much kissing to speak of so I'm not sure how she could bring herself to let me 'put in' so to speak. Some of the most personal touching of all.

Then in came out, she said she was feeling some 'wifely obligation'. I was infuriated. All this work trying to turn things around and we're standing here at wifely obligation. I was so disappointed in her after she said that. Then I screwed up a little by commenting about how she didn't feel obligated during her PA when it came to sex. Sometimes my feeling about that get the better of me.

On a lighter note after that I did tell her that I could tell she had been more reseptive and happier. She said she was working with her IC on dealing with her thoughts on our past so we could press on; and having some success with it. We happened upon the fact that we both think that each other are holding all the cards as far as R stuff goes. This is one of the MC topics; she's not ready for that yet though.

Suprisingly enough she took the LL quiz. She is a 12 in Personal Service with an 8 in Quality Time. Didn't expect the Quality Time. Though I suppose that makes sense given the way she is engaging during conversations over the last couple weeks.

Over all I'd still say it was a good day; we we're happy with each other when we went to bed.

I'm going to have to work through the rest of my disappointment with the 'wifely obligation' crap today. I told her this morning that I'm over most of it but there is still some residual disappointment there.