edie, How come you are so smart?! Lately, I have been thinking to myself, "What about MY feelings? Who wants ME happy?". I tell H I want him happy in the end, that he needs to do what it takes to be happy, but he never says that to me. The closest thing he has said to me is that he feels I need space from him too, but won't say it. You have given me some good things to say to him. I will be talking to him tonight about it.

sara, house, not hotel. YES. I feel that he got *his* way. Gets to go out on the weekends (without grief from me, even though I never say a word anymore), but still can come and go to see the girls.

neph and morgan, you guys are the best, thanks for the support.

Miss Trying. \:\) Once again, WOW.

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He can come and go now and see OW all he wants to


As much as I still worry about this, I don't think its happening. As of a week ago, she stopped taking his calls. They are supposedely working on their marriage, in counseling. Her H put a No Contact rule on her cheating a$$, and will not hesitate to file if she breaks it (she has cheated in the past and this is his last time trying). But I do feel H has been calling the shots since this whole thing happened. Its basically in his hands whether we remain married. But, I can set boundaries and have in the past (I told him no way, never again will the kids be around OW, and he has respected that). I didn't set any other boundaries (to not call OW), because I can't control that one.

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I want to let you know that I am going to inform my work as I am required to do so when you move out


I have already told the security officer at work exactly what is going on. I asked his advice regarding the separation and the kids. He is informed, and waiting for me to fill out the paperwork when we are officially separated. He said one night here and there isn't technically moving out, so we are ok for now.

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I would also worry my own husband would lose respect for me if I acted like a door mat and didn't stand up for myself.


In a way this has already happened, and I am working to get it back. About the 180's, I do so many things that he is surprised at. He never asks me where I go or what I am doing (once claimed he lost that right to ask me those things), but I do stay out, even if its reading a book or walking around the mall. Lately I have been leaving when he is home (even though he says I don't have to), but he needs time with the girls, and they only want me when I'm around.

About the kids, honestly, they haven't noticed a difference. Between our schedules and the girls already used to him going out on the weekends (SIGH), they have been fine. But, they take in more than we realize, and notice lots more. About the tension in our house, surprisingly there isn't any. I am able to DB with no problem, and have been. I have enough time away from H that I can deal with my issues/frustration enough to clear my head and be calm at home. Same with H.

Thank you so much!!!! Our situations sound similar. I want to learn more about yours.

JOURNALING:

Feeling a bit better today. I am supposed to go to a movie with my 2 friends tonight, but am going to give them a free pass if they don't want to sit with me and my funk/cold/cough. However, I still will be doing something by myself if they don't want to join me. Even if its seeing a movie by movie, with the aid of popcorn and candy of course.

Thanks everyone for your support. If I miss someone when I respond, PLEASE call me out.