I just printed out all of your posts (and a couple regarding my infamously bad letter from yesterday) and read them to H whiled he was chopping garlic.
Yes, things are better around here today. H asked how I felt this morning, (Crappy...the absolute truth). Gave me his letter, in which he apologizes for last night, explaining his actions in much the same way you people intuited...reassuring me of his love and desire to work things out.
I was still very down and quiet until I Journalled and got on here. Your posts are very comforting. I don't know what I'd do without this place.
The temptation to go visit my Mom or Sis today and tell them all was very strong. Knowing that you guys were waiting here for me was a big part of me not going there.
Erinr, thanks for your post too.
Please don't think my H is physically violent. In fact that's a real sore spot with him. One time, early in our M, he grabbed me by the shoulders during an argument. It threw me right back into childhood mode where physical abuse (it hurts to use those words, I love my Mom so much!) was a reality.
I mentioned my fear to him (he says I threatened to call 911, but I have no recollection of that).
Last night was a little scary, he was forceful in wanting me out of this chair, but he didn't touch ME at all. I've never felt afraid of him in that way.
H went out and bought the groceries and is in the midst of prepping a nice stir-fry for dinner. Brought home a bottle of my favourite Blush (cheap but good) and....a small boquet of spring flowers!
That really cheered me up and shows that he listened when I told him some of what he can do to help me through this.
Also, in his letter, he agreed that he's had a problem with avoidance and will consider private counselling.
All in all, just more downs and ups on the Piecing roller coaster!
Shiny
P.S. I'd still like to hear opinions on the flirting stuff...notice how MAL says I don't flirt, but Cal says some of my stuff might be construed as flirting.
Is it any wonder I was confused when H asked if I was flirting here?
