I know that my H will not do the light bulb moment. He is too proud to admit that he screwed up. I figure that if and/or when he comes home it will be a slow return. I know that and I am trying to let things go for now. I also know that in time the things that have happened will have to be resolved and I know that we will be able to do that "after" the foundation is restored.
I pray that that is what these invites are showing. That he is starting to return (snail Pace). And that is okay that he takes all the time he needs. I need time myself right now too. Time to get over the hurt. Time to sort through my own thoughts.
I really don't want H to come home right now anyway. He has too many issues in his head he needs to work through first. H is still too angry and I still think he blames me some. Still acting too much like a teenager yet too.
I really believe time will heal all this. What I worry about is time helping H to forget. That is why I am determined to some how keep the connection there. The rest is up to H and God.
What keeps me believing is H not filing, catching him looking at me when he I'm not looking, the invites, the visits to do farm work (could be done when I'm not here), consenting to sex (even though he says it means nothing), the anger when I'm out and he doesn't know where I am, etc...
Then again, maybe all false hopes...
Time will tell...
Thanks LIN
P.S. LN Did you ever question to yourself whether H was in MLC or is it just the afair that threw him over the edge. I have read on other websites about A's and the H will act out in the same way some what. Sometimes I wonder if it's the A doing this all. I'd like to believe that H is in MLC and the A is a symptom and didn't start till after the bomb. But sometimes I wonder.
M41 H42 D17 Adopted N14 M22 T24 "Bomb" 4/07 Sep 8/07 Admitted OW 11/07(only to me) OW back 12/4/07 PA on off thru 7/08 says done w/OW but not coming home 8/08 D final 7/09 Moving on and up!!
