as were are in a really extreeeeeme hard financial situation, H came over tonite to talk about how we can realisticly get out of there. Before we started, I decided to tell him that I neeeeed honesty and him to be reliable to furtheron be able to handle the situation. Told him that I am now able to see our separation from an objective kind of view. Which is true, coz I analyzed his pattern and drinking and EA belong closely together. So I am starting to NOT take it personally. I so much realized that the outcome of the situation really depends ON ME. On me starting to get going on my short-term-goals. And I know what they are. He said he thinks I am and will be much faster in developping my way of handling things than he might probably be. One more reason to get started on a fantastic 180 and a good way in "acting as if" when the OW is involved. He told me he cut down drinking and smoking at home, as he is staying at a non-smoking-place these days. And that he realizes this CAN work for him. We were both wondering about what made us so unable to meet our goals and up with our expectations towards each other while we were in R.
Now our COMMON goals are: (and they concern our business, nothing more) <- as HE thinks ;-)
- Meet every morning before opening the place to talk about the financial Status Quo and sort things out - Assist each other in finding a daytime-job by the end of the month to earn more money for the coming up months - start to go walking together one morning a week (which will be rather tough and funny coz we're both lacking of any sporty condition) - Be honest and reliable (talk about personal/emotional stuff when needed once a week)
I guess if we can make THIS work already, we will first of all be able to get ourselves out of this financial misery and save our Bar. Secondly, when we will have managed all of that, we will be either so close, that we do not wanna leave each other anymore and be able to rebuild R or I'll be strong enough to go my own way. Wish it will be the first outlook though....
What i really really know is that I need to get GOING. I am responsible for my own destiny. I can steer things, without letting him know.
Are you with me??? Do you think this ist the right way???? I really DO need some feedback!!!!
