I thought about that letter a little bit, and mostly agree with Ellie. Just one thing I thought I would add to stir up some more thoughts.
On the e-mail thing. Would it hurt anything for H not to change those passwords, so that you would still know them, but you wouldnt look at them? Did that make sense? I think an open and honest relationship is the way to go. Meaning that he would always know that you have the opportunity to check if you ever wanted, but you would take the responsibility yourself not to look.
I am having a hard time putting this into words, lemme try to simplify it.
H wouldnt change passwords. In return: You wouldnt check h's e-mail (or anything else, blind trust)
That way, everything would be out in the open between you, but there wouldnt be pressure for him, or suspicions for you.
FLoyd The grass is always GREENER over the septic tank.
I think an open and honest relationship is the way to go. Meaning that he would always know that you have the opportunity to check if you ever wanted, but you would take the responsibility yourself not to look. 
