Well if I were to tell you that "dating" wasn't effective, I'd be lying. SventheRed starting dating (dinner, etc) and it got his wife thinking.
But with dating, comes the inevitable question. Why are you dating?
1. To get her jealous/thinking she'll lose you?
Ok..might work. But you are using someone else. And..you are really doing something in reaction to you wife.
2. To feel good about yourself?
MC...we've discussed this. You have several women flirting with you and showing interest. I think both you and your wife realize you are a hot item at the moment.
3. To move on with your life?
Is moving on dependent on having a significant other? Isn't that what DB is all about, fighting the dependency of needing a relationship to be complete?
4. Because you are lonely?
OK..how about good friendships with men and married couples?
5. Because you are horny?
Well. 'Nuff said. Does that make it right?
From a purely moral perspective, I think flirting a bit and reminding yourself that you've "got game" is good for your ego. It won't hurt your chances of reconciling.
And I think that you already know that several women have sent you signals.
Dating muddies the waters.
It depends on what your goal is.
You have a moral right to divorce your wife, date and remarry. I think you probably want to go in that order.
On the other hand, what if Ms. Right came along? Would she give you the impetus to stop Divorce Busting and file for Divorce yourself? Dunno.
I'm also speaking from my own personal frustration.'
For me the answer is clear, don't date till you are divorced. This is a legacy you can offer your sons as a man of integrity.
Yet I feel the way you do. I miss being wanted and needed. I like feeling attractive to someone.
And in theory, though I would tell you I wouldn't date till I was divorced, I know I would flirt. Of course Ms. right could come along and give me reason to completely give up DB. But how would you know she was Ms. Right if you didn't date?
