SB - I have problems with the letter as a whole. Too long, telling him too many things he's doing wrong.
I think your core issue here is similar to mine and my H's: he lied to "protect" me, but really to protect himself from my response and from his responsibility. You've been doing a great job of dealing with things - but your H will still have to make some progress on the honesty thing - it's hard at first. My H needed to realize that by not telling the truth at first, things festered to the point that they got worse - and still eventually would come out. So now he understands that, painful though it sometimes is, it's better to clear the air when things first come up.
Also, your H probably still has some ambivalence -my H, despite all the great things happening between us, is still feeling a slight pull to the romantic fantasy he had concocted. This will take time to fade.
As to the "parole officer" issue - I agree he cannot place the responsibility on you to keep him safe, but I do think it is a good thing when an ambivalent spouse tells you they don't want the temptation to sneak behind your back to be too available.
