I feel like I'm eavesdropping, listening to the two of you talk. But I know I'm not, so I will jump in here too. This is exactly the same thing I was talking to MC about last night.
Please understand, I used to be a bitch. I still can speak bitchese fluently. This is my interpretation of your wives' worldview concerning their husbands.
They put you in a box a long time ago and stopped thinking about you as a person. You are stable and boring. You cannot get out of the box and be exciting. You have been classified and categorized and shelved. However, you serve a purpose. You provide a stable household and help financially and are good with the children. So they see now reason to chop off the branch that they are standing on.
On the other hand, OM is fun, exciting, mysterious and a challenge. They are pursuing him. And they can do that while standing securely on your branch. So why stop? They can do it all because they are better than everyone else -- they deserve it all.
Since they are so deserving, they can talk to you anyway they want. They can lash out at you and be mean. Because you are not deserving of both stability and fun. You are just one thing and can never be more.
How do you deal with someone like that? Well, my H just quit the BS and had a fullblown affair and plotted to divorce me. And I didn't even have another man -- mine was just fantasy!
