Good to see that you really are OK. I know you held out, but your W. moved fast! Is she any happier? I think not, but it is what it is.
Do I remember correctly, you've got a Ph.D and were going to publish some stuff a while back? You're a good man, like most of us are, and love will come your way again, as it will mine if this doesn't work out.
You're a smart guy with plenty to offer, and I believe I am too. Are you seeing nayone? I guess the possibility of being alone on holidays, weekends, etc. is still pretty overwhelming to me. I can't really stop thinking about how much fun (I think) we had as a family, until she snapped into the unfulfilled angry stage, which I could not figure out.
It's difficult to interpret the anger and unhappiness with everything: my driving, which container I put food away in, where I put dishes after I unloaded the diswasher...that's how it went for at least 3-4 years. (these were some of the IMPORTANT things I dropped the ball on).
It's easier now, because I don't have to face that every day. Believe me...being in Iraq IS EASIER THAN THE DRAG I FELT AT HOME.
The disjointed lifestyle I mentioned was a killer....driving back and forth from an aprtment, having three nights with the kids at my old house, driving them everywhere, dragging my as* home dead tired and starting again.
I agree with FaithfulH: You have to worry about yourself. I tend to agree that I'll be a far different person when I return home from Iraq. I will not settle for the conditions I lived in before. I don't want my kids seeing me live like that. I was bullied around, because I tried to keep the peace with an angry, sick woman. I really miss a partner, though.
I will not die without her, but losing the whole family structure is what hurts the most. My poor kids.....
FH: Thanks for looking in on me. I wish I knew why your w. changed her mind while others are calcified. My W. was impossible to be around. she would just leave for hours at a time and go smoke cigarettes at the beach or at her mother's grave. D16 would be a bit&h on wheels and W. would just walk out of the house and drive away, for hours! No reason. Although you wouldn't die without your wife, losing the family structure after 26 years would be devastating.
The Brooks family is a very accomplished Army family as you know. Vince Brooks is one of the most eloquent spokesmen that the Army ever put in front of a camera. Dad was a MG? Brother also USMA graduate?
