I lost track of what Heather's actual plan was going to be. I would love to see her but realistically I doubt it will happen. I will check in on her thread though.
I know it must seem to people that are new here that I started a rant without pre-amble (most people already know my story) but I guess I am to the point where I am worn out of H's inaction and I feel like it is less a case of me being a big baby and "taking my ball and going home" and more a case of me really coming into my own. I know who I am and he either learns to appreciate it or he doesn't.
For religious reasons (like Cemar and others here) I'm not going anywhere and H knows it. It almost seems funny to say because I did leave xH despite the religious reasons and I am satisfied that I did the right thing and made my peace with it but I cannot do that again (barring some unforseen catastrophe of mythic proportions) so there is no teeth to any statement like "I will not stay in a SSM" because I will and I do and H and I both know it.
I am almost 40 and it is time for me to figure out where I am going within this M if it never changes or what boundaries I must draw to be here with integrity. Boundaries, assertion of self and the like are the things I struggle with most as a person and they are my failures within both marriages.
A funny thing - my 10 yo just changed the channel and stopped on that scene in Top Gun where the guys are playing volleyball and commented "cool". It seems from that and many other things that I have probably spawned a mini-me HD daughter and it will be my luck that DD3 probably will be too. Whew!!!
