Yep H is a wounded bird right now, no doubt about it.
You asked if checking on his e-mails was allowing him to deal with this in his own way.
I understand, but perhaps reading my last few posts you'll have a better idea of where I'm coming from.
On Nov 28th the day after OW called for the first time (I knew nothing about her...but had all kinds of suspicions I hadn't voiced), H swore it was over, that he'd turned a new leaf....the new, strong, honest H who would NOT make decisions or live out of fear any longer. NO MORE LIES!
I rejoiced.
He said he was going to let his hotmail account die a natural death in 30 days (if they're not accessed they do this?). I believed him (sort of). Didn't question it.
I had some suspicions later, but said and did nothing. I was tempted to send an e-mail to that account and see if it bounced back or if H mentioned it, but I DIDN'T. I WAS letting him handle it on his own.
And how did that work out? He was back in touch with OW in two days, and in constant e-mail and phone contact with her until, geez, just a week ago .
And as for being his cheerleader...I constantly thank and praise him for stuff he does "right", the breakfasts, the chores, his singing at karaoke, his dancing, taking some steps towards finding a new job, I encourage him to explore careers that he could LOVE, hell I just bought a book on the topic for him YESTERDAY!
I tell him how much I love our renewed physical contact, I pretty much draped myself over him at Darts on Saturday night because I know that one of his complaints was that I would be too distant at social gatherings.
He told me later that this helped him deal with the fact that the two pals who gave me the goodbye kiss+ back in January were there. It sent a powerful signal that WE are back to being US.
So still confused and a little sad here. H sounded very subdued and to my ears (may be off) angry when he left to pick up some kitty litter.
I suppose it's time for some TLC on my part? But what if he rebuffs me as he did my hug last night?
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