Floyd,

I agree with you and MAL that this latest "LIE" was totally fear driven....It just dismays me that he still lies out of fear,and over something that is so very minor (I admire him for helping this woman through a rough patch, I told him so) after everything that happened this week!

But as someone said it probably popped out in a 1/2 second and couldn't be taken back. It is his usual mode and will probably take time, thought, and therapy to break.


Floyd, as for all the questions and pushing on my part, this is exactly what H ASKED ME TO DO!!! Totally anti-DB, I KNOW!

But as I mentioned earlier, he said that when I hauled out the duct tape, didn't raise suspicions I had, over the past half year, that I "enabled" him to continue on that path.

I felt really bad when he said that. Like he couldn't take responsibility, stand up, end things, tell me....unless I made demands and found him out...or, as things turned out both times, until the OW called and spilled the beans.

I felt like all my DBing efforts just dragged this whole thing out. I don't really believe that, frankly, if I'd acted on suspicions this way months ago, I don't know HOW it would have went down. But H says it would have all come out and he would have ended it!!!

Are you starting to see the confusing position I'm in right now?

If I back off, trust him implicitly, I may be "enabling" him to do no good. Remember, please, just how many times I've been lied to.

As for the e-mails, yep you have a point Floyd. I'm a bit compulsive when it comes to saving things...it's not like I read them over and over and ruminate, it's just something I feel compelled to do....lowers my anxiety in the moment.

Plus, I suppose, there is an edge of self-interest, in keeping "evidence" of his follies, should that help me in the dreadful possibility of a future D.


Gotta find some balance somewhere.

Shiny