RJ - I have been checking your thread and thinking that radical honesty might be a start. Like - No H, I don't think more children are a good idea. OR H, we haven't had sex in a year because I haven't initiated, complained or made it happen. I don't plan to be the only one to keep up our SL anymore so if you don't make an effort we won't have a SL (yes folks this is part of the reason we haven't had sex in a year - if I had pressed it we would have and it would be like wanting a hamburger and being told you could only have a cold stale cheese sandwhich - this is the "whole thing"). OR H, I am very unhappy with our lack of SL. I will never be happy in this M without it. What are YOU willing to give?
Lil - you are so right I am lonely.
To the folks who worry that I might be depressed I can tell you that I am but it is what is called "situational" depression. I don't tend to have issues with chronic depression and I rebound fairly quickly from stressors but right now I am admittedly not coping well in an emotional sense with the stressors in my life. OTOH I am sleeping appropriately, eating appropriately, going aboout my life and no one would even think I was sad if they talked to me on the street.
I have been on this thread off and on for a long time. Basically, I have 2 kids from a previous M, 2 with current H and we have grown foster children who also have children making us grandparents by proxy. We have been married 4 yrs, are psychology professionals but neither of us are "counselors" - I work in community mental health in a non-profit environment, H works with businesses in training. My H seems to have a halting, immature approach to sex, has never seemed very comfortable, has been LD except when we were dating or on vacation and definately uses porn to some extent (couldn't say how much).
Thanks to everyone who doesn't think I am an old hag with this baby. He is beautiful and I adore him.
I do think that H is having a sort of MLC. I think he wants the big piece of property (very expensive in a bedroom community of Baltimore) to build a "legacy". I see his focus currently as being on everything but an intimate R with me.
I need to digest things for a minute and think on solutions.
