I am hoping she will have his kid, they will split, and he will end up paying CS for two families, ha ha ha ha ha! That would get him in the only place he hurts - his wallet.
Oooh, goody, somebody else has revenge fantasies!!!
Just kidding, our mantra right now has got to be "the best revenge is a happy life."
I hope you're okay tonight. This has got to be tough, all kidding aside. Take good care of yourself.
((((((nicola))))) Much love to you honey. So sorry for your ASS of a H. By email? Sorry but does he have no class? I totally agree with almosthopeful "the best revenge is a happy life" You are such a special woman and you know your H and you know that he hasn't just changed overnight.. She doesn't know what she has gotten into...
Take care of yourself and those beautiful children
Love,Lisa
Me:37 H:38 6 kids first bomb 8/05 (ow involved) piecing 7/06 second bomb 3/07 ow involved wash rinse repeat.... huge move to start over 2/11 more affairs H left for good 8/12
You know the latest news from my sitch. And it was really hard to stomach. But I have to say that it really has helped me to move on. Not intentionally, not willfully, it just happened all on it's own.
God wants you out of this hell H keeps sucking you in. So here's your ticket out.
Idon't know how you are doing or where your mind is at. But we are here for you. You have weathered really hard times and you will get through this too.
Nic I just caught up - I'm SOOOOOOOOOOO SORRY !!!!!! You deserve MUCH better !!!! I think always is right, sometimes overcoming our biggest fears makes us grow with LEAPS !!! Take care xxxx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Thank you all for checking on me - I appreciate it.
I have been doing really well - I can actually laugh about the craziness of all this. It's so out of control (in my eyes, not his obviously) that it just seems ridiculous.
I had a rough night, though. I was out walking the dog last night w/ the kids, when we ran into - guess who? - H and his gf. We were actually in a corner store, and H pretty much ignored me but said hi to the kids, then went to get a bottle of water. Funny thing is, gf was actually friendlier (I was too, mind you) and asked me how was doing, said I must be tired w/ the kids up so late, asked about the dog. To be honest, she actually seems really nice, much as I hate to say that.
She said to me, "You always look good." I laughed, and she said, "no really, I mean it," and looked sad. Is my wonderful H doing a number on her too? I don't know. But once again, he picked someone who is insecure in that area (as I was).
Funny thing is, I told her that the dog was still sick, and it was just too expensive for me to keep paying for her surgery. GF said, "Well, I don't think that's a problem," and looked over at H. I told her he was refusing to help me, and he said, "I told you it would depend on how much it costs." So I said, "Yes, and when I told you it was $3,000, you told me to go to small claims court."
gf: You said that????
H: [looks embarrassed]
gf: [to me] We're going to have a talk about this, oh yes we are.
Seriously, how can you not like a woman like that? LOL! Sucks that he found someone nice, though, b/c he sure doesn't deserve it.
BTW, I don't think she's pg b/c she had major alcohol on her breath.
I know some of you have said that this gf is bad because she went after a married man, but the truth is, we had been S for a year and a half, and even though he was giving me mixed signals, I'm sure he didn't tell her that. If I met someone great now, I would go out with him, and I'm not D'd yet.
Afterwards, my D was concerned about me, but I told her I was fine. I went to bed and cried. I thought about how nice he seems to be to her, and how mean he was/is to me; how she is now in a position to tell him to do things (e.g. money for dog), but I can't. He might do it for her.
But then I realized that what I was really sad about had nothing to do with him: I'm lonely. I want to be with someone too. I'm tired of being alone. I was alone in my marriage for years before H left, and now it's been two years of S. I've GAL'd; I have friends; I have my work...but I want someone to hold me in his arms (my LL is PT), to laugh with me, to tell my secrets to. Well, you know what I mean.
I know it will happen in God's perfect timing, etc etc, but I'm sick of waiting. I'm tired of being alone.
Anyway, that's that. I'm having a blue day, but really trying to focus on my own feelings, and not relating them to stbx.
Thanks for reading. I love you guys.
Nicola
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
You handled that confrontation really well but try to shake the "victim" role. You are too powerful for that. Well, actually we are the victims in our sitches but we can let on that we are out of control of our sitches. That is neediness and passive aggressiveness. As Bjork says, "Declare Independence. Don't let them do that to you. Raise your own flag!" Don't complain about him. He wants to be with the person who reflects what he wants to see. MLCers think it will be easier to start over, but soon enough they will fall back into the same patterns. Agree with what he says, and act like, "Yes, he is a great catch. We all love him very much." Now that would stroke his ego and make her jealous of you!!!!
Re: OW-I also truly believe my H's OW is a sweet, quiet but dumb person. Why else would my mixed up H choose her? There must be something special enough to make a person leave his integrity, reputation, family, devoted wife, family approval, unless they thought this new person was at least nice. Nice means jack squat. Anyone can be nice. That is not integrity. Good people do not establish relationships in front of people they are married to. Nor do they plan to wed until at least some time after the divorce. Especially with kids involved. No.
Re: Dating. You need to date ASAP according to Homer and his book STOP YOUR Divorce. I have contemplated doing this myself. Easier said than done when we have one track mind-being loyal to our vows and divorce busting, but DATING does bust divorces-counts as GAL, is a total 180, and shows the WS that the LBS respects herself enough to know that the world is filled with men who are available and cool and interesting and more importantly respect the LBS!
Nic- I also feel the day you survived is one many of us will have to go through sooner or later. You are a beacon of light showing us all how to weather it with grace and class. That is such a beautiful thing. No pleading, no crying, just a joke in the corner store. That is amazing. Soon the eggshells will be gone for you and you can exhale and just live and enjoy yourself again!
My Dad- My dad actually hid his second and third marriages, both of them! My mom could have written DR! She used the same tactics and I know my Dad has always wanted to come back especially after she GAL and started dating others. My parents will always be attached through the kids, history, and now grandkids. I know they still love each other but my dad thinks it is easier to keep starting over with new people, to get that feeling again I guess. He totally left that second wife which he engaged in secret. That was not integrity and his kids will never respect him. We respect our mom for always being there and not letting our dad use her as a doormat. Your H did what he did because he was being cowardly.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
You said that????