I did misunderstand. In Alabama the going in position is 50-50 across the board even though we are not community property state. It does not matter what you brought into the M unless you are M only a shot time (5 years I think). The court considers anything used jointly for the M become "joint" assets.
Anyway good luck on the settlement. I am also at that stage. For now, my W has agreed to let me keep my retirement account and she keep hers. Mine is larger b/c I am a 51-year old fool too! But she gets to work longer (she is 44) than I so she will not be hurting.
Oregon is also an "equitable division" state (as I believe AL is). The key phrase is equitable division...which does not necessarily mean "equal" (though there is a legal presumption of equal). Locally, the long-term M thing is understood to kick in around ten years (so I'm essentially considered "short-term"). Who knows how it will turn out. If we go to court, I think I have at least even odds of getting what I'm asking for. But she could get lucky. Just depends on the judge.
I'm just checking in. OF, I hope everything works out in your favor. You betcha I understood that you were NOT offering your STBXW 60%.
Here's an update: As you know, my divorce was final on 20 Jul. I recently started paying back the money I borrowed from my 401K...ouchie...that's $590.00 a month! I am feeling it. I dropped the ex from my health insurance so my premium went down but I increased my 401K contribution.
Also, I'm finally getting around to doing my taxes...and yes, I filed an extension. I owe $1,200.00...CRAP! I did it on TaxAct, but I'm having a tax advisor look over it. Maybe, I overlooked something. Anyway, I found a part-time job at QVC, the home shopping channel. Hopefully, I'll like the job. I start next month. I decided to get the job because I could use the extra money but also, to fill the void that I sometimes feel. My brother/wife will be moving out soon, so I'll really be alone in my house.
In the meantime, my ex called and wants to set a date when he can pick up the rest of his stuff. The ex let my brother/wife borrow some of his furniture.
I'm sorry that 2007 is turning out crappy for you OF. I hope and pray that 2008 will be brighter and happier for you (you too, Jeff). In a way, 2007 was pretty lousy for me since I spent half the year wheeling and dealing through my lawyer...I'M EXHAUSTED!
Be well, my friends. Take care.
All my best, alamogirl
Me - 48 (at time of 1st bomb) H - 43 married - 16 Jul 94 no children 1st bomb - (said he was leaving) - 3 Jun 06 2nd bomb (said he was ready to file) - 10 Nov 06 H filed divorce - 17 Nov 06 Divorce finalized - 20 Jul 07
Good to hear from you alamogirl. The 401k thing will be a pain for a bit, but you'll be glad you did it later.
I think the job may be a good thing...though getting used to being alone is something you'll just have to face at some point. That one's behind me now, but I won't lie and say I love being single. There are things that are nice about it, but anyone who says being single isn't lonely either has never been married or is lying. That's not to say I'm lonely all the time...I'm not. But if given the choice, I'd much rather be in a (good) relationship. My thoughts are with you when you're alone in your house. You'll do OK...but if you're feeling down, stop by here.
I sure hear the "exhausted" thing. I'm tired of it all too. While your financial situation isn't good right now, you can be thankful that you're at least at a point where you can begin rebuilding your life (financially and otherwise). I remain in limbo, having heard nothing for a couple weeks now, and desperately want to be where you are...moving on. I have a feeling 2008 will be better for us both and that thought is what is getting me through.
OF, hope things work out for you. I know I'll be a LOT poorer when the assets are split. 50/50 in my situation means I just give my 50% to her (on top of all the cash I helped her with so she could get out of her CC debts). I really never cared or looked at the money as mine or hers during the marriage, I was busy saving up for 'us' and 'our' family, I feel pretty damn betrayed.
Me: 32|W: 34|D: 3yo 1st bomb: Feb 2006 (left one day, came back a week later) 2nd bomb: Aug 2006 (moved out, ILYBNILWY) 3rd bomb: Apr 2007 (filed for divorce) 4th bomb: <her finger on the launch button>
Same here. I guess that was my error. I won't make the same mistake twice. Too bad the next woman I'm with will end up paying the price (at least partially) for the selfishness of my STBXW.
I'd like to say a lot has happened in the last couple weeks, but I can't. In fact, in large part, it's just more of the same...waiting.
Passed my eighth wedding anniversary this week (sigh). Another milestone, I suppose. Having still received no response or even acknowledgment from the other side, my attorney recommended we file a counter-claim (which is the legal equivalent of, "You want to divorce me? Well, you can't because I'm divorcing you!").
It's infantile and should be unnecessary, but my WAW won't do anything one way or the other and with a year under our belts, it's time to do something. This is just a way to jump-start things. In an ironic twist, I ended up meeting with my attorney and signing the papers on the day of my anniversary. That has got to be some kind of symbol, sign, or something!
I continue to look for work and pray that I'm not still waiting for the divorce and a job when 2008 comes around. After two years of crap, I really need a good year.
Hang in there OF. With the job situation, at least you don't have kids so you could potentially look for a job in another town or state - once the legal stuff is out of the way.
You'll be in my thoughts today...goodluck.
Me: 32|W: 34|D: 3yo 1st bomb: Feb 2006 (left one day, came back a week later) 2nd bomb: Aug 2006 (moved out, ILYBNILWY) 3rd bomb: Apr 2007 (filed for divorce) 4th bomb: <her finger on the launch button>
