Been a little while since I last posted. Everything is still going in the way of divorce, that I unfortunately cannot stop. I have been having a blast with my girls. D5 is playing soccer right now and is really enjoying it. The way the her soccer schedule works out my STBX is not going to be able to make any of her remaining games. I am disappointed for D5 that is the case, but it is a consequence of my W's decision.
I started staying at my parents the weekends that I do not have my girls. So tomorrow night I will be crashing over there. It is actually nice to sleep on a bed. It also works out since I am typically out GAL with some of my friends that live towards my parents.
Tommorow morning I plan on hitting the links, then I am going to a friends 2yr old sons b-day party, and then going out in the evening with my bunch of my friends to celebrate one of their b-days. Sunday, I am going to church in the morning and then probable watching football. I would rather spend the time at home, but, by me leaving for a couple of days has helped keep things quiet around here.
Not a whole lot to report on D progress. It is in the L's hands and at their pace. It is not going fast enough for my W, but, that is not my problem.
Since D5 is now able to ride her bike we are going on bike rides all the time. In fact she did not want to go to church last Sunday because she wanted to go on a bike ride. D5 loves going to church so it was kind of funny that her new found independance on her bike was the reason why she did not want to go.
I still hate that my M has come to this, but I think I am in a good spot emotionally. I have finally got back into my work. I can actually concentrate during the day.... This is the main reason that I have not been on the boards lately.
Scott, I am so sorry things are 'progressing'. You are controlling your life, and enjoying your daughters, that's all you can do right now. My D5 was obsessed with learning to ride her bike too. Even had 103 fever this spring and was begging to practice. I love that your D5 plays soccer too. Hope your planned weekend is as nice as it sounds.
Again, while we hate seeing that your M is still on the path to D, it is good to hear from you, Scott -- especially that you're managing to cope with everything as well as you are. It is very admirable of you to continue keeping your love and attention on your girls -- keep up the good work. They really need you, and some day they will be able to thank you themselves for your steadfastness in this time of turmoil.
It's good to hear things are getting somewhat easier for you emotionally. It will get easier with time. Its a great idea to spend weekends at your parents place. I find that when I am doing an overnighter for work, or if I spend a night at my sisters, it is the most relaxing sleep I have.
Also, just keep yourself as busy as you can whilst the D process is taking place. Keep doing what you are doing, it will take your mind off things. Good to see you are getting back into your work. This took me ages also, but now I am enjoying it more than before.
Let your W worry about timeframes and let her rush through things if she wishes, you just let your L handle things.
Scott....sorry for my absence...financial and sitch stuff. Again, we sound so similar: -my D4 just started soccer practice. The coach asked me to be the assistant. Ever try and keep the attention of six 4 year olds?
-I've started taking D4 out on the back of my bicycle. I never got the chance to get it off the wall in the garage this summer because of all this crap.
Scott...hang in. Although I've had one of the craziest sitches here, the more this goes on, the more I get stronger and can see that most of this mess was a hurting little girl in my W. I'm sure you can now see more clearly and see similar things with yours. Don't take things personally. Accept only that which you feel you're responsible for. You have no other control here. One of the two of you in your M...has integrity. Don't give it up.
And Scott, sounds like a bad quote, but, don't forget this:
Originally Posted By: Gladiator
Proximo: Ultimately, we're all dead men. Sadly, we cannot choose how but, what we can decide is how we meet that end, in order that we are remembered, as men.
No matter WHAT happens, Scott....stay the rock. Supporting you. Strength and honor. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
It stinks that my M keeps progressing towards D. I have accepted that and it is out of my hands. I don't think I will ever understand why this has come about. Last year this time my W and I were discussing having another baby....what a difference a year makes. My focus will continue to be on my girls and my own well being. BTW....D5 has a soccer game tonight.
NCB,
Quote:
They really need you, and some day they will be able to thank you themselves for your steadfastness in this time of turmoil.
This is my hope. I can only control myself and not my W actions. I hope as they get older they see me and my actions as an example for their own lives. My girls are so young there will be a few years before they realize what I have and am going to continue doing for them.
AndyV,
Give my W some space and getting away for the weekends has been really good for my soul. Like you said I actually get a peaceful nights sleep. As for the D I am trying to leave it with the L's, but my W wants to keep negotiating. Ugghhhh.....
It feels good to finally get back into my work again. Glad to hear that the same has happened for you.
FIB,
Quote:
One of the two of you in your M...has integrity. Don't give it up.
You are right and I do not plan on doing anything to compromise it. Stooping to her level would be all to easy.....But I could not live with myself doing the things that she has done. It still amazes me that my W has gone down this destructive road. But like you said I can only control myself and have the choose of an honorable man.
Hope,
As always thanks for stopping by.
All,
Thanks for you support through this mess. I am not at the end yet, but the support from the people on this board is priceless to me - Thanks.
Journaling: Last weekend was fun even though I did not see my girls. I went out with my good friends Saturday night and then watched football most of the day again with them on Sunday.
A couple of things did happen since I last posted. First was on Sunday. My W called clearly frustrated with all that is going on and mentioned that she tried calling a couple from our church to see if we can sit down with them to talk about our D. After the blow out at the house this was the agreed upon action if we needed to talk D. Well our conversation was short and non confrontational. Then the next day I hear that there was another blow out at the house and elders from my church had to come over. I not to sure where that came from since I was not home. It does make me wonder if my W had a self inflicted meltdown....Who knows... Secondly, D5 was telling about her ear hurting. Then she says that it did not hurt until mommy yelled at her. I asked why mommy yelled at her. She then to me that "mommy was crying because you will not let her leave and move into her new house. That is why mommy yelled". So now it seems that my wife is painting me as the bad guy to my DD's. I haven't confronted her on this and am not sure if I should. Do I bring this up, most likly causing an argument. Or do I keep what I am doing and let my daughters see the truth over time. Not sure at this point.
Tonight I have my girls and D5 has another soccer game. She is having a blast playing soccer, which is fun to watch. This weekend is going to be fun. Saturday my girls and I are going to my friends DD1 birthday. Then Sunday I am going up to Detroit with my girls to go to the Bears game. So another eventful weekend is planned for my girls and I.
Oh man, what your daughter said. That's just awful if your W is saying those things. Pathetic actually. You obviously should remain neutral to your daughters, saying "Well, Daddy loves Mommy and I want to stay together with her." And of course, throw in "We will always love you no matter what". I don't know if you should confront your W about it (although she should know that its horrible what she said), because it seems everything is setting her off.
Had a fun weekend with my girls. Probably to much time in the car, but, we had fun. My girls seemed to enjoy the game despite the Bears losing. D2 actually slept through the 4th quarter when the stadium was at its loudest. I am supposed to have softball tonight but the weather might put a stop to that. My W has my girls tonight and is bringing them to my IL's house to spend the night there. I just hate this. I am having a down day today.....I wish my W did not have the ability to affect my day but she still does. She again started chatting me at work about our D and the house refi..... That plus knowing I am not going to see my girls has put me in the dumps. I know life goes on and I am moving on...but I have lost the two things that I cherished the most: my W and my family.
I love that your D5 plays soccer too. Hope your planned weekend is as nice as it sounds.