Thanks Jim, I hope so too!

Well as to be expected, the roller coaster takes a dive...

Pal D was at darts last night and made some allusions to W having access to all my files and my e-mail...not anything I hadn't thought of before, but it unsettled me.

Then I had a nasty dream this morning in which H was looking at all my private stuff, bb, journal, e-mail, while I was at work. Not a great way to start the day.

So I mucked around on the computer for a while, hopefully didn't screw anything up, changed my password on my e-mail account and then needed some help with H to find out how to password protect individual files.

So I locked up my journals.

I feel relieved that these things are now private, but dislike the renewed tension between us. He assured me that he's never looked at my stuff.

But be honest everyone: If your S's email had a password YOU put on there, and his/her journals popped up whenever you hit "files" on WORD, would you NOT be tempted to take a peak???? I'm pretty sure I would .

H questioned me heavily about just what D had to say, and I told him I think he's suspicious (as he is by nature), and when he found the chatline link last weekend...because last night he went on about password protecting, creating his and hers passworded files etc. I know he's just "looking out" for me..(and I can be naive, obviously) but I really don't need my suspicions fed right now.

Then I copied OW's last batch of e-mails over onto a protected file and am now printing them out. There's just so many words of love, comittment, jealousy, *sobs*, etc...

I know he says she was demanding these things "or else...", but the content goes way overboard. If he was really wanting her to move on and disappear (as he maintains) I'm not sure constant reassurances of his love and plans to be with her, his hoping she'd never find "someone like him" etc. were the right way to go.

CRAP!!!

Also journalled today about my needs in regards to financial openness on H's part. So many suspicious things there...but that's another post, and I imagine best left for another day .

Shiny