Now I've done it... again

[mkultra]

Ok you have a lot more to deal with than I previously realized.

My BFF mentioned that we may recreate the pain our parents' R in our own R to test if we can fix it. It sounded like psychobabble at the moment but in a way it seems crystal clear that I did do a lot of testing. I may have really pushed my H out to see if he could handle my dysfunction. Does that make sense? I do not come from a perfect family so I chose someone who appeared to come from a perfect family. No such thing. Where my family was open about the alcoholism and infidelities, his hkept it secret. They even hide pictures of his dead brother???? This taught my H to shut up and stay guarded. While I have diarrhea of the mouth and try to make connections with everyone. Opposites attract, then drive each other nuts.

Just like your H and his background of family values and strength, but scratch the surface, look at the deep wounds from all that secrecy.

You sound much more open about your history than him. He may feel the need to start over with someone else who does meet that love language, but THAT IS TEMPORARY. Remember, a spouse in MLC leaves a competent person for a weak person for an ego boost. Keep reading th elove languages and do the infidelity 101 research. It is a pattern so arm yourself with the patterns of all the DBers that have success stories. You can save your family if you have the strength and patience.

The way I see it, a better man will come into your life. It could be the old one or it could be a bew one. Either way you can make things better for you and your kids now thatyou know the 411.