Just came back from my few days off at my best friend's place. Gee - how intensive in thinking, talking and exchanging views and insights these days were....
Wrote everything down in my journal.... 1st: we're separated 2nd: he fell in love with another woman. He cheated on me, lied to me and exchanged me in like only 6 weeks. Realized that I have never ever been hurt like that in my life before. Now I still do have to work with him. And our financial situation is horrifying. As I was so much into saving the relationship that I forgot about business. Hard to realize that.
For him basically nothing changed: as I need to 180 - coz going dark doesn't work in our case, he sees me as friendly and mostly relaxed with the situation of being separated. He has replaced our R by another woman (and kid as far as I know). He is still doing the same job. He is still drinking the same amount of beer every night. He is still mostly late, doesn't do more than he needs to do. Only thing that obviously changed is that he is no longer staying at home.
Now HOW can I save our business and survival with this kind of attitude? Do I need to be more selfish? I haven't really achieved a lot of my daily goals lately - but I guess I needed my time off to take a break and now get going....
But - and I need your help on that one - can I ask him for the following stuff - presume that I will do the same (or would that be wrong DBing):
- to be on time - to give 100 - not only 70% - to definately accept our common deadlines and agreements
And then again - on the emotional level: - keep me up to date about is he now having a R with OW or not - not drink so much in my presence but anywhere else
stupid questions, I know. But those DO trouble me. Would be veeeeery happy to get your advice!
