H wants D

[forward]

Well, my situation is summarized in footer, but here is the latest update.

I feel as if I have tried very hard to DB and had another session today. Made point that I need to decide if I want him back or not as I cannot achieve a goal if I am not sure what I want. I've been feeling on the fence. DB C said I need to put down the weapons as anger is one of them. The goal that I didn't do too well with was being friendlier.

The difficulty w/being friendly is that it has been hard for me to feel friendly when H is painting in garage, doing OW's laundry here--ESPECIALLY THAT--and leaving the place a mess. It makes me angry and it's hard for me to feel friendly when I feel used.

DB C suggested that H care for D1 at his place. (H had said that was what he wanted anyway.) So I brought up when I got home. That discussion did not go well. I put it as something D1.5 would need to get used to anyway. H complained about his small place, not being ready for D1.5 to be there, etc.. H left angry, saying he would get house, sick of my passive aggressiveness, and wanted D and would look into it.

H now says he wants D, not LS. I think that is from MIL. ILs are in town this weekend. MIL had said something about OW not going away. DB counselor advises trying to keep mouth shut re. H or OW w/ILs.