Okay, I've succumbed to the pressure! I've migrated too.
The rest of my title would read "Let's put a new coat of paint on this lonely old town"....any idea where this comes from???
Okay, can Shiny link her old thread in under 4 tries??
Wait, I didn't open my old thread yet, so I guess I'll just post this and then do it properly on the next post...thus nearly guaranteeing I'll be #1 (Unless Willwin is still lurking around)
Quoting shinybear: Wait, I didn't open my old thread yet, so I guess I'll just post this and then do it properly on the next post...thus nearly guaranteeing I'll be #1 (Unless Willwin is still lurking around)
Hey, boys you think I'll have a chance to do up a brief recap of my sitch before this thread is on page 5???
Wow this is HARD!
Married nearly 11 years, together almost 13. H 41, I'm 39 (for another 7 weeks!)
Three cats, no kids.
Thought we had a pretty good M until Aug 27 '02. Arguements over my sarcasm, perfectionism, anger, controlling, sexual issues. Nothing I thought was dire.
Aug 27, H, visibly depressed, asks for a D (can you say "2X4"?). World crumbles, heart explodes, got the "ILY but Not IN LWY, awful awufl time. (see first thread "Dazed and Confused" for details)
When asked, H said there WAS an OW, but a one time meeting (on a business trip) one dinner and one kiss shared. But he "thought" he was in love with her. OUCH!
I buy DR and try to repair. Get H and myself on antidepressants (plus anxiety meds for me), H goes on sick leave from work.
I think things are slowly mending....until the OW calls my house on Nov 27th!!!!
Turns out she was the second OW...met both of them on a chatline. She and I talked for what seemed like hours, she sent all kinds of e-mails from H and photos of them together .
Turns out some incredible lies were being told to both of us, pointless to rehash them here I suppose.
H was planning to go cross country to be with her, plane ticket bought etc. Had been there to see her 3 times previously. (All ostensibly business trips)
After what felt like a true battle between good and evil, H decides (Nov 29th) to stay here, "break it off". At least give us a try.
I start DBing like crazy.
Things were chilly here for quite some time, made the BIG mistake of sharing details with family and friends.
Still felt very shaky, vulnerable, kept my distrust and suspicians largely to myself. (including missing money, suspiciously long "walks" and trips to stores)
In January we started to see a new C and things started to look up. More communication, more affection, more hope all round.
Continued improvement through February, nice valentine's day....Then Feb 25th we were woken to....another phone call from OW!!!!!
"This time it's really over, I ended it"
Turns out H and she were back in contact right after their "break up". Soon enough however, H says he felt pressured to keep up the contact (veiled threats to inform me of their contact which he believed would spell the immediate end for US).
The blessing? H got to see OW for the kind of person she really is...and did not like what he saw
I finally got verbal reassurance that he wants to be with me, and loves me ( ). Feels like a lot of pressure lifted...but still lots of feelings to work through.
). Feels like a lot of pressure lifted...but still lots of feelings to work through.