In addition to what Dom said, stop beating yourself up for making mistakes. Are you making them: sure. Is it productive to berate yourself for them: no. Stop it. You made them, OK. Move on, make some decisions about what you want, what you need, and what you can put up with and act accordingly.
I think you would benefit from an hour this weekend of just sitting by yourself with a cup of coffee (or your favorite beverage) and seriously thinking goals and means. No interruptions, nothing else but you and your plan. Get it cemented in your head that this is who you are and this is your plan and your H does not need to do ANYTHING to make this happen for you. You make it happen. Somewhere along the way, you gave your H power over your feelings and I think he's demonstrated that he can't be trusted to use that power responsibly. So take it back. That's my suggestion.
