MC, I'm so sorry. I wish I had words of wisdom for you, but I don't. All I can say is that you are a wonderful man and father and you do not deserve any of this. You are right she does not deserve your sympathy. She made her bed now she needs to lie in it. She needs to think of someone else besides herself. I don't care how nice the the FFOM is, she has NO JUSTIFICATION for what she has done to your and your children!
Now that I've got all of that out of my system. Detach further and continue to take care of yourself and your children. You cannot change her. Just work on your own happiness.
Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon