All hope is lost/help

[cat03]

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Has your H agreed to make a go of it with your M?
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Yes, he's home because we both agreed we wanted to keep our M, but for the time being he's seeing a T because of deep issues he' s got, and until he's whole there is not much work done on the M front, we are pretty much like two friends, not much display of affection, and what little there is it usually comes from me (hug) andhere and there he might, might, offer a good night kiss. (LoL about the period pants, I usually have to tell my H, which always makes him flinch when I do it, and also because I DO get extra emotional 4days before it.)

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My H would agree, but the girls are such a bone of contention atm that I feel I can't talk to him about this.
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Well, he's already told you how he feels about the girls' lack of help. So now it falls in your lap to have that good talk and bring up the chores each one has to do. There is bound to be complaining, but since your H is a step-dad, might be vilified if he is included on asking the girls for help. So have a word with them woman to women.

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if he says he hasn't loved me for a few years and I think he's never loved me as much as I have him (except maybe in the beginning, when there were 2 less kids and hardly any resp)
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Hon, we all get that "I really didn't love you" talk, all of us. Later I did ask my H, when he came out from the MLC coma "so, were you really unhappy all the time" and he said "well, do you remember me being happy? we did have good times" only now, your H (and mine) are only focusing on the negative aspects (my H told me the other day all he sees from our past is my bitterness, when I clearly remember telling my H one day 'we should be getting closer as a couple' and he'd cry out 'but we are not doing bad? what's wrong?"
So you see, your H might not remember that the "romantic" love you guys enjoyed during the courting/newlyweds days are phase 1 of 3 in a marriage. Phase 2 is when conflict arises and you are discovering what you dont' like about the person and struggle to change him/her (this is when MLC and divorces happen). Phase 3 is when you finally accept that person for all he/she is.

Would your H read a R book with you? I know you don't want to rock the boat, but I wonder what he'd feel if you suggested it, something like the "men are from mars women are from venus " or "the 5 love languages" At some point my H did listen to the book on cd I got him (mars-venus) and he actually liked it! Then again, before the bomb (3mths ago) he groaned whenI suggested we read something together.

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Ever thought of becomming a C?
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boy, I"m honored you'd suggest that. Frankly, I've given a thought about starting a women's group, kind of like the one I attended when my H left back in 2005, it helped me so much and there was such wisdom in each of those ladies. I want to help, dont' know how, but seeing how people suffer in this board I think of all those, each day, being thrown into the S, A and MLC wagon and dont' know how to cope.
Someday, I'd like to give back.

WIsh you the best too hon, have a great weekend_))))))))